27th April 2006, Thursday.

hello people. sorry for not blogging for quite some time. i was kinda busy for the past two weeks. preparing for my assessments and working. it was so damm tiring. finally realise that i am not that tough. nothing seems to be going right for me recently. so much of unforseen things happened all at the same time. i seriously ain't sure how long am i able to take it. i am breaking down soon. trust me. i am. all my plans were being screwed up one by one. i am so tired physically, mentally and emotionally. i can't take it any longer. i just feels that i am living in a no mans' land. i am all by myself to face all these shits. i know you folks do care about me. but i just couldn't bring myself to tell you guys about all my shits. you guys have your own sorrows too. i wanted to talk to my mom, dad or sis at times. but i simply can't. i'll get a big time hell from them. so... what i can possibly do now is to live with it. just hope that i am able to take it for long. i ain't sure how long. i just pray that i can.

life is simply meaningless. till today, i still didn't manage to figure out what life actually is? whatever happiness in my life is gone. why? why would God wanna take away everything i once had? why would Him wanna bring me down so badly? was it a test from him? or a lesson to be learnt? if it was a test from Him, i had failed badly. if it was a lesson to be learnt, i learnt nothing till today. i am depressed. please please. can anyone just get me out of this mess? i don't care who. just anyone who can. i'll appreciate it whole-heartedly. i believed no one can. nvm.

alright. enough of that. take care people.



jessie: you don't look like a malay.

elsie: catch up with you soon. i am having my holidays now. call me.

amber: sorry. i was really busy.



-help me anyone?
'breaking down. depressed. dying.