don't regret, don't fret, just live like a brat!

my beloved friends.

2006-07-17T21:36:00.000+08:00

shenglong, sheeban and i at addicted.
pingting and i.

jessie, me and xiang.

oh. she's STILL my classmate. haha.
is this the end of us?
long, ban, me, bing and ming outside billy bombers.
bidding ban farewell at minds cafe.
woo la la. relaxing after a day of hard work.
nic, gladys, me and michele.(i am loving this picture. don't ask why.)

忘了爱

2006-07-10T21:37:00.000+08:00

分手都已过了那么久
现在也有自已的生活
你身边有个人牵着你的手
我们就像是朋友偶尔联络

心情不好你会来跟
我说我安慰你不难过
等你恢复笑容
总是笑着道谢转身走
变成朋友的你和我并不轻松

i could see i love you
it hurts me deep in my heart
你还在我心上某一个地方
看着你为了他
失魂落魄不说一句话
爱的重量不在我身上

i could see i love you
it hurts me deep in my heart
我不能像你这样说分了就忘
我这样是坚强
还是忘了爱的勉强
过去不想全部隐藏
就试着遗忘

说
对我诉说你跟他满脸笑容
我微笑地聆听接受
过去的你和我
是否也爱得那么冲动
痛哭好久开心也有让人感动

i could see i love you
it hurts me deep in my heart
你还在我心上某一个地方
看着你为了他
失魂落魄不说一句话
但是我的心现在却比你还伤

i could see i love you
it hurts me deep in my heart
我不能像你这样说分了就忘
我这样是坚强
还是忘了爱的勉强
让你看透我的心现在我不想
是该说放就放
就试着遗忘

痛苦我会遗忘
只想看你开心的模样
新的恋情让它成长
而过去
就放在心上

4th July 2006, Tuesday.

2006-07-04T00:53:00.000+08:00

school had already started for like kinda 5 weeks. workload is getting heavier. the best part is i am fully aware of what's going on but i just cannot be bothered. what is wrong with me? i wanted to do well so much but something in me just kept telling me other-wise. argh. i'll just have to keep myself focus. i'll try my best. i finally able to taste the feeling of working and studying at the same time. and to be honest, it's not nice. it sucks in fact. i can't possibly quit studying nor working. first, i can't afford to not to study. second, i love the job that i am currently working at big time. the people there are ultimately nice, puppies are incredibly cute and the timing is way freaking flexible. third, i need money.(who doesn't?) which is why i just have to hang on. i am just tired. that's all. so no worries peeps.

at times, i thought i can do it all by myself. but i was so damm wrong. i really regretted. fuck myself big time. is there any way to turn back time? fuck it. i wouldn't wanna bring everything up again. what's over, it's all over. i know i'll not be forgiven no matter what i do for now. but just allow me to say this to you guys: "i am sorry for what i've done. i am sorry for letting you guys down. i am sorry for breaking up the trust and friendship. i am sincerely sorry." i wanted to apologise to you guys personally. but i just can't bring myself to. i am just afraid. i know i have no right to ask for forgivness. i know i wouldn't be forgiven. it's alright. i am the one who started all these shits. i understand how much you guys hate me. you guys might not forgive me, but please accept my apology. that's all i am asking for. i'll really appreciate it. thank you people. it's my stupidity that causes all these mess. i deserved it. i finally have the courage to bring myself to apologise to you guys. though the apology is not made to you guys personally, i hope you guys can still accept it. i just couldn't bring myself to face you guys. but no matter what it is, i am sorry...

friends out there who are always with me, a million thanks to you peeps. but there is one thing you guys got it wrong. "whatever does not kill you makes you stronger"? nah. bull shit. i think this sounds more realistic: "anything that is painful, it's good for you". whatever happened really hurt me deep. and to be honest, till today, i finally realise that what hurt me most is not losing her. it's about losing the friendship that i once had and cherish so much. it's about me breaking the trust in the friendship. it hurts. but whatever that was done cannot be undone. all i have to do now is treasure all my friends around me now. i'll love you peeps. actually i did treasure all the friendships i had. i swear i did. it's just that my stupidity level is way too high at times that i tend to do something silly, foolish and stupid without thinking of the consequences. i really hope i'll not let history repeats itself. i know it wouldn't. technically... ... ... i know it'll never ever happen again. NEVER!

alright. it's getting late. i am tired. sleeping soon. nitez... ... ... Zzzzzz

ps: happy birthday to you. i know this greeting is late for exactly a week and i guess you probably wouldn't want it as it's from me. i know you still hates me. i am sorry. hope you'll stay happy. all the best in whatever you are and will be doing... ... ...
sincerely sorry, 27/06(happy birthday!)

'never take a wrong step. there's only regrets and no returns.
-sleeping, Zzzzzzz....

names of some romantic countries.

2006-07-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

planning to fall in love? check out the following destinations:

H.O.L.L.A.N.D - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies

I.T.A.L.Y - I Trust And Love You

L.I.B.Y.A - Love Is Beautiful; You Also

F.R.A.N.C.E - Friendships Remain And Never Can End

C.H.I.N.A - Come Here... I Need Affection

B.U.R.M.A - Between Us, Remember Me Always

N.E.P.A.L - Never Ever Part As Lovers

I.N.D.I.A - I Nearly Died In Adoration

K.E.N.Y.A - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing

E.G.Y.P.T - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing

M.A.N.I.L.A - May All Nights Inspire Love Always

T.H.A.I.L.A.N.D - Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull

12th June 2006, Monday.

2006-06-12T11:46:00.000+08:00

hi guys! here i am in school now blogging. haha. as usual. typical me being in school as early as 11am, not listening to the lecture but blogging instead. lol. well, the fact that is my lecturer hasn't really start the lesson. he's just simply telling us what we are expected to do for this term. argh...!!! boring... ... ...

sitting in front of the computer, having nothing to do is terribly boring. i feel sleepy. and... adding to my miserably day, i am sick. fever, flu and serious headache. argh...!!! i hate my immunity system. it doesn't seems to be working. wth! haiz. guess i am just purely unlucky. shitty day. doubt i can take it for the next lesson. i shall go home after this one.

world cup had started. and few matches had been played. it was pretty boring so far. only germany managed to play some sparks out of their first game against tiny costa rica. oh... by the way, i don't support germany. i hates them. it's just a fact that they did play well in their first match compared to other teams like england and netherlands etc... i am an england fan anyway. but to be honest, england won't win the cup. i just got this feeling that the czehs will. haha. yeah yeah. since the matches are all being telecast live, this means i'll have a lot of late nights. wonder how am i gonna take it for this one whole month of "exciting" football matches. hopefully and probably i can...

alright... that's about it. nothing spectacular really happen recently. the only thing that happen was that i fell sick. haha. that's all. yup yup. tk care guys. update you peeps soon... ... ...

i saw someone who is the last thing i wanna see now... ... ... fuck it!

'people just couldn't make it on their own, sometimes...
-sick.

4th June 2006, Sunday.

2006-06-04T13:44:00.000+08:00

hi folks. i am back. yup yup. sorry for not blogging for quite sometime. i was so busy. yeah. real busy.

sad to say, today is the last day of school holiday. everything goes back to square one. no more nightlifes, pubbing, drinking, ktving and i'll miss my beloved work place. technically, yesterday was my last day working at the cafe(WORLDS APART). time really flies. i spent most of my time there during my holidays. don't really bear to leave though. i'll miss the lame jokes session with gladys, talk cock and smoking time with laurant, gaying with everyone there and learning languages from mark. really had a happy time working there. and no doubt, it's a simply great cafe. be it working there or walking in as a customer, you'll always feel home. yup yup. oh... not to forget my two beloved puppies. quinnie and quakas. simply love them to bits. hmm... i probably spend all my free time there. alright alright. enough of those emotional thoughts. by the way, for any pet lovers who is interested in this pet friendly cafe, do let me know ya?? i bet you won't regret it. yup yup.

so... it's school again tomorrow. feeling so contradicting. happy knowing that i'll be back studying after 2months of horrendous break, but on the other hand... something in my mind is thinking otherwise. hmm... cannot be bothered. gotta be in school by 9am for some orientation programme. wonder what is it about. guess i probably be sleeping throughout the whole thingy. that's what i always does when comes to orientation. i never liked orientations. waste of my time. it's not that i don't appreciate what the peers are doing for us. i do actually. but blame it on the school. having those meaningless orientation is just a waste of both my time and theirs and limitless manpower. so? fuck it. waking up as early as 7am is already a hell for me. thinking that it's just for the sake of a stupid orientation just makes me wanna kill myself. argh. it better be fun or else i'll curse the school big time. haha. oops. any school lovers reading this? i hope not... haha.

a new semester starts, means that i have to work hard once again. i won't denied the fact that i got myself screwed up big time last semester. no more of that. i had already get over them. all thanks to the happy times i had during this holiday at worlds apart. so, i just have to work triplely hard to get back the results i wanted, things i dying for and things that used to belong to me. yup yup. a new start, a new me and hopefully i can get a brand new happy ending. haha. i hope i hope. with the morally support from so many of you(including peeps from worlds apart), i know i am able to do it. i'll do you people proud. for friends who had been standing by me through ups and downs, i really do appreciate. thank you.

alright. that's about it. will keep you guys updated again. take care folks.

king: when will we be having our seoul garden feast? we shall get gladys and mark to join us. haha.

gladys: the cafe will be so much quieter without king i guess. haha.keep us updated about what's going on there ya? we'll be back always.

mark: steady la. you're the man!!! "ma na wu ya!!!" haha.

laurant: smoking alone is freaking sianz i know. but we'll be back and create another chaotic sence again. haha. wait for us. and don't bully gladys when we are not around hor. if not.... your ass will be ours!!! haha...

silly gal: i am missing you.

'worlds apart rulez
-sleeping brat

HONG KONG

2006-05-13T10:45:00.000+08:00

worlds apart

2006-05-13T10:17:00.000+08:00

" gladys and me"
"mark and me"
"worlds apart"
"me, boss and king"
"muacky"
"guys of worlds apart"
"love"

27th April 2006, Thursday.

2006-04-27T13:01:00.000+08:00

hello people. sorry for not blogging for quite some time. i was kinda busy for the past two weeks. preparing for my assessments and working. it was so damm tiring. finally realise that i am not that tough. nothing seems to be going right for me recently. so much of unforseen things happened all at the same time. i seriously ain't sure how long am i able to take it. i am breaking down soon. trust me. i am. all my plans were being screwed up one by one. i am so tired physically, mentally and emotionally. i can't take it any longer. i just feels that i am living in a no mans' land. i am all by myself to face all these shits. i know you folks do care about me. but i just couldn't bring myself to tell you guys about all my shits. you guys have your own sorrows too. i wanted to talk to my mom, dad or sis at times. but i simply can't. i'll get a big time hell from them. so... what i can possibly do now is to live with it. just hope that i am able to take it for long. i ain't sure how long. i just pray that i can.

life is simply meaningless. till today, i still didn't manage to figure out what life actually is? whatever happiness in my life is gone. why? why would God wanna take away everything i once had? why would Him wanna bring me down so badly? was it a test from him? or a lesson to be learnt? if it was a test from Him, i had failed badly. if it was a lesson to be learnt, i learnt nothing till today. i am depressed. please please. can anyone just get me out of this mess? i don't care who. just anyone who can. i'll appreciate it whole-heartedly. i believed no one can. nvm.

alright. enough of that. take care people.

jessie: you don't look like a malay.

elsie: catch up with you soon. i am having my holidays now. call me.

amber: sorry. i was really busy.

-help me anyone?
'breaking down. depressed. dying.

kiss goodbye.

2006-04-25T05:48:00.000+08:00

baby不要再哭泣
这一幕多么熟悉
紧握着你的手彼此都舍不得分离
每一次想开口但不如保持安静
给我一分钟专心
好好欣赏你的美
幸福搭配悲伤
痛是在我心交叉
挫折的眼泪不能测试爱的重量
付出的爱收不回
还欠你的我不能给
别把我心也带走
去跟随

每一次和你分开
深深的被你打败
每一次放弃你的温柔
痛苦难以释怀
每一次和你分开
每一次kiss you goodbye
爱情的滋味此刻我终于最明白

但欠你的我不能给
我才明白爱最真实的滋味
我终于明白

'kissing you goodbye
-tired.

life is for living, live it.

2006-04-20T16:08:00.000+08:00

there are moments in life when you miss someone so much, you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. when the door of happiness closes, another opens. but often, we look so long at the closed door, we don't see the one which has been opened to us.

don't go for looks, they can deceive. don't go for wealth, it can fade away. go for someone who makes you smile because a smile can make a dark day bright. dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go. be who you want to be because you have only one life and one chance to do the things you want to do.

the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. you can't go forward until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. live your life so that at the end, you're the one who is smiling while the rest around you is crying.

don't count the years, count the memories.

life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

'brat

10 April 2006, Monday.

2006-04-10T21:50:00.000+08:00

hi people. yawn. i had a tiring day. *shag* oh before i forget. carol cheong was crowned miss singapore universe 2006 huh? my god. jade should have won though. saw her on tv last night and she was simply cute. omg!!! hmm... at least she was the 1st runner-up. yeah. alright. enough of the miss singapore universe thingy. it's over by the way. yeah. anyway, manchester united beat arsenal 2-0 last night. haha. woo... well done. first, it will come as a warning to the blues that red devils ain't pushovers. second, it will act as a wake up call for arsenal's fans. arsenal is a one man team. without henry, they're thoothless. beating real madrid and juventus in the champions' league was just sheer luck. admit it or not, arsenal was outclassed by the red devils. too bad. yeah. but to be honest, chelsea is still the team that sucks big time. they just simply don't understand the word sportmanship. *wtf* yeah yeah. woohoo...

as i mentioned, i had a really tiring day. slept at 4.30am last night and woke up kinda early this morning for school. managed to reach class on time but... the lecturer basically did nothing for the whole freaking lesson. we were asked to show him how far we had done for our assessment which is supposed to be due in 2 weeks time. and after that...??? we were dismissed. what the hell. took the effort to come to school for the 3hours lesson which i thought was important. but the whole lesson just lasted less than half an hour. argh... freaking no life. *wtf* no point crying over it now. forget it. waited for weiling before heading to bugis for lunch. no prizes for guessing what we had. did i hear "seoul garden"??? haha. yeah yeah. that's what we had. yup. went slacking at plaza singapura's starbucks after lunch and weiling did something bold there. haha. it was so damm funny. trust me. it was. haha. oh well, sorry folks. i gave him my word that i shall keep it only to myself. sorry. haha. after re-charging ourselves, we walked all the way to sim lim square to get my thumb drive. 25bucks for just a 128MB thumb drive. *wtf* but i kinda don't have a choice. do i? apparantly not. i need one desperately. in order for me to survive for the rest of the week, i have no choice but to get the 128MB one. i know i sound pathetic. anyway, i am pathetic. haha. yes i am. so? any donations? i'll appreciate. yeah.

slept on the whole bus ride. suppose to meet up with charmaine and my beloved keegan. but charmaine's line was like engaged for half an hour? *haiz* nvm. will have the chance. yup yup. reach home kinda late. and started on my assesment once again. iam going berserk soon i presume. argh... so much work but seems so little time. oh well... what to do? just have to live with it. i believed i can finish up on time. in fact i am already done with quite a lot of stuffs. just left with the two photoshop thingy and the tedious design fundamentals. have to work hard on it. yeah... alright. that's about it for today. gotta carry on with my assessment. will update you guys soon.(provided if i have the time) haha.

oh ya. before i forget. i was thinking of this just now. when will i ever quit drinking and put a stop to alcohol? but the sensation of the after effect is always so nice. not as in drunk. just the kind of sensation that i can't describe. the feeling is kinda like i'll made merry by myself just thinking about the wondrous effects of alcohol and how the fattest of chicks started to look somewhat slimmer, the ugliest pair of shoes in sight started to look like a fashion statement, the sedative r&b music seemed to sound a little better. ah, that's the power of alcohol. how could anyone not like to drink? oh well, everyone who drinks does have this after effect i assume...? am i right...? or wrong...?

weiling: you are the man!!! haha. and stop complaining about me not blogging enough. if not... i shall blog whatever that happened this afternoon. haha. woohoo... YOU ARE THE MAN!!!

elsie: chivas again on friday? call me.

'drinking is not a habit. it's a necessity.
-homework.

miss singapore universe 2006.

2006-04-09T12:33:00.000+08:00

alright. here's our local gals competing for the most prestigious beauty contest in singapore. don't miss it people! live tonight at 7.30pm on channel 5. yup.

here's the two whom i think stand a high chance of winning. well, hopfully they will. ginnie goh and michelle tsai. and for goodness sake, for those dudes who think that miss singapore universe is only for bimbos, you guys are so damm wrong. ginnie goh graduated from university of melbourne with a master of arts in media and communications while michelle tsai is currently pursuing a masters' degree in marketing at NTU. they are probably the best ever looking gals around in singapore with brains. it keeps them rational to inhibit the use of their intelligence over their beauty which is what people should really learn. miss singapore universe is not just about beauty alone perhaps. that's what i think though. perhaps. yeah. kudos to them!

may the best gal wins!

hang-over

2006-04-09T00:05:00.000+08:00

joyce and i. she's cute. yeah she is. no doubt.
eric and i
this is what happens after two bottles of chivas regal.
he's always so happy when elsie is beside him.
joyce, weiling and eric.

if you are wondering where i am, i am the photographer.

06th April 2006, Thursday.

2006-04-06T09:40:00.000+08:00

hello! i am in school now. lesson supposed to start at 8.30am, but i was late as usual. reached at 9am sharp. haha. and the best part is, i am already here and it's 9.45am but the lecturer was so busy that she had not even seen my work. *give round of applause* oh well... fine with me though. technically, i have nothing to do now. so here i am spending my pathetic time in class blogging. *sigh* weiling is beside me now. he's busy with his freehand stuff. so shall not bother about him. the punky boy above belongs to me. haha. it's my work. i know it's simple. but i kinda liked it. so... who cares if it's simple? at least i don't. yeah. haha. hmm... still thinking whether to go for the mass lecture after this class. have not been going for quite some time. i am not being lazy alright... it's just that the class is simply too boring and the lecture have nothing gotta do with our course in school. it's pratically a waste of our time. which is why the class will never be packed despite being named as a "mass lecture". lol. hopefully i don't get barred from assessments just bcos of this stupid shit's attendance. yeah yeah.

weiling and i going for our seoul garden buffet after lesson again. we're pathetic losers! save so long just for one seoul garden student buffet. haha. practically, both of us are freaking broke. lol. hmm... craving for the food now. can't seem to wait any longer. argh...

okok. done for today. miss jean is coming over to check my work now. it's kinda like... ... ... erm... ... finally! haha. gonna get a puff after she's done with my work. yeah. haha. lol. alright guys, take care! cheers folks!!!

'here i come, seoul garden!
-in school.

04th April 2006, Tuesday. UltraViolet.

2006-04-04T00:16:00.000+08:00

i am back! yup. i received so much complains from you guys that i am not blogging recently. argh... sickening. lol. alright alright. here i am. yup. i shall start blogging from last friday ya? ha. last friday was kinda busy for me. didn't go to school though. lol. went to plaza singapura's "mu-ee" to get the "eye bag" sheep for ben. haha. so funny. it's kinda big and i have to carry it for like the whole day. met up with sis at chinasquare for lunch after that. and i swear the "la mian" taste damm good. you guys should try. call me up and i'll tell u where's the exact location. yup. after lunch, i went down to bugis. meeting weiling there. slack at starbucks before heading down town. after collected what he wants from lucky plaza, both of us took a train down to bishan to meet my mom. pass her the freaking huge sheep and off we go. my uncle drop us at weiling's place and i slacked there for like so many hours. sianz. nowhere to go, so we decided to meet up with elsie at "club instinct". had a jug of beer before elsie decides to change place to "KSP1". jessie joined us slightly later. had beer and martel there. we drank quite a lot that night. and due to some circumstances, we had to shift to "KSP2" around midnight. weiling knocked out. he was so scary i swear. he was flat dead this minute but so damm energetic the next minute. even the boss was terrified by what he saw. haha. you asshole!!! continue drinking at "KSP2". send jessie back around 3 plus in the morning before i myself get home. was so tired on saturday. i slept my weekends off. yup. too tired. met pearlyn last night at my pool side and we chatted for a couple of hours. just love chatting with her though she'll stop me from sleeping. haha.

here comes monday. wasn't feeling well today. yet again, no school. lol. met up with weiling and we went to catch the movie "ultra violet". the movie sucks big time. yeah it does. BUT... all thanks to milla jovovich and i am watching this show. she's simply hot. omg! she looks so much hotter in this show compared to resident evil. yup. she's hot. no doubt. so basically i was watching her rather than the movie. yeah. after the show, pearlyn came and we went to pizza hut for lunch. it sucks too. argh. still prefer my seoul garden. haha. woo la la. and that's about it for the day. went home after that. just can't seem to finish my homework.never ending stuffs and i hates it. argh. sickening. yeah.

alright folks. that's it. and stop complaining. haha. tk care dudes! cheers!!!

weiling: can you please don't get sick and tired of seoul garden? haha. i wanna eat!!! we go china square eat "la mian" kk? with pearlyn, elsie and jessie. hahaha. woo...

pearlyn: you look great today. and please eat more. you don't pay $13 at sakae just to eat the eggs. haha. will you call me tonight again? i am expecting ya call.

elsie: friday, ksp1. a date with us!!!

'here's to the night we felt alive. here's to the tears we knew we'd cry.
-homework.

nightlife... ...

2006-04-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

"blurish-poor photography skills"

"weiling and i at his place"

"elsie, jessie and i"
"elsie and i"
"weiling and jessie"
"elsie and jessie"
"jessie and i"

29th March 2006, Wednesday.

2006-03-29T12:56:00.000+08:00

hi folks. sorry for not blogging for almost a week. i was so busy with my homework. yup. workload is increasing day by day. tiring. i am in school now. just ended my 2D animation lesson. suppose to end at 1130am. but.... i am done with my work. and therefore, i was allowed to leave. haha. yeah. my lecturer was kinda impressed with my work. feel so happy. finally my hard work paid off. yeah. spend quite a lot of time on 2D animation. gotta start on my design fundamentals homework tonight. this friday is the submission date and i have yet to start on it. omg. lol. yup. no more lesson for today. waiting for weiling now to finish his work. meeting pearlyn at bugis later on. gonna have lunch. weiling is so happy. haha. woohoo....

thinking back, time really flies. one week just past like that and i don't seem to remember anything that happen for the past one week. it's the same routine everyday. go to school and head home to continue my homework. sound so no life. i know. but what to do? i don't have a choice. do i? no i don't. yup. miss ken and ariel so much. guess i'll meet you guys up next week. sorry. i know you guys dying to see me. haha. next friday alright? apprantely, if time allows, i'll meet you guys by this weekend. i miss you two. yes i do. haha.

i feel tired physically so easily recently. have to work out more i guess. went for a jog last week and feel so much better. but didn't have the time to do any exercise this few days. feeling so lethargic. *sigh* hmm...

alright. that's about it guys! if there's anything interesting, i promise i'll blog about them. haha. yeah yeah. you guys take care. bye!

ken, ariel: i miss both of you. chivas rocks!

jeanise: i am fine gal. i think so. yup. thanks! dad & mom asking about you.

pearlyn: chill gal! stay calm. the letter will come eventually. you know what i am talking about.

weiling: PLEASE DO YOUR WORK!!! lol. haha.

wentao: meet up with you soon. sorry. i am really busy. yup.

'forever love.
-yawn.

goodbye

2006-03-23T21:06:00.000+08:00

I can see the pain living in your eyes. And i know how hard you try. You deserve to have so much more, I can feel your heart and i sympathize. And i'll never criticize all you've ever meant to my life.

I don't want to let you down. I don't want to lead you on. I don't want to hold you back. From where you might belong. You would never ask me why, my heart is so disguised, I just can't live a lie anymore. I would rather hurt myself, than to ever make you cry, there's nothing left to say but good-bye.

You deserve the chance at the kind of love I'm not sure i'm worthy of. Losing you is painful to me.

You would never ask me why, my heart is so disguised. I just can't live a lie anymore. I would rather hurt myself, than to ever make you cry. There's nothing left to try though it's gonna hurt us both. There's no other way than to say good-bye.

23rd March 2006, Thursday.

2006-03-23T09:02:00.000+08:00

early thursday morning and here i am in school. class is real bored. yeah, no doubt. i seriously have no idea about freehand. it kinda sucks. flash is so much better. yeah. oh by the way, i was on time today for class. haha. this seldom happens. lol. was almost late though. fell asleep on the bus. lucky weiling sms me. if not.... i guess i'll be on the next bus terminal. haha. yeah. heard from jackjack that the freaking mass lecture will consisit of a stupid quiz starting from this term. what a smart way for them. ass! i'll still find my way to skip it though. haha. it's getting boring in class. shag. it was already boring in fact. argh.... oh ya... i finally been to mos and eski bar. haha. yeah. went down to eski at holland v. it was so damm nice. heehee. like that place. so cooling... yeah... woo hoo....

alright... that's about it for now. yup. take care folks.

'back to school.
-boring boring day.

20th March 2006, Monday.

2006-03-20T01:25:00.000+08:00

hmm... jus found out something again. alright. first of all, i had already admitted that it was my fault. second, as i mentioned weeks ago, i know my schoolmates hated me to the core now, but there isn't a need for you to keep adding on stuffs that i didn't do. i myself knows that i am in no position to get angry. but to be honest, i still had been hearing stuffs from people about what you had said till today. come on. get a life. the things that you had been spreading around is seriously ridiculous. all thanks to you, i lost all my friends. everyone thinks that you are the saint now. but please. deep down in your heart, you know what had you done. it's alright if people were to trust you now. i know i am no better. but at least, i dare to stand up and admit all my wrong doings. do you have the courage to do that? don't worry if you are reading this, what i had promise you when we are still friends, i'll still keep my promise. i wouldn't leak out a single thing. i just want you to bear this in mind, stop acting like a saint in front of others. there is something you must know. it isn't just me that know what you had done. and compared to yours, what i had committed is really nothing... hopefully you'll be able to keep your cat forever in your bag. if not, you'll know how i am feeling right now.

friends out there, i know it doesn't make any difference to you guys no matter what i says now. i admit i was wrong. i know trust is to be gained. not given. i am sorry once again to whoever i had hurt. i am sincerely sorry.

there is just a single thing now that i wanna say. it'll and it shall be the last. "don't judge the book by it's cover and never be fooled by the appearances". i shall not say more. you guys will understand what i am talking about in the future. you guys care for one another i know. you guys will protect one another if anything goes wrong i know. have you guys ever thought of this? though u guys never treat me as a friend ever since, but deep down in me, i still regard you folks as my friends. but right now, there is nothing i can do to stop you guys from getting hurt again. you guys might gonna get conned again. that's all i have to say. friends, take my case as an example. don't trust anyone too simply. that's all i can do for you folks now. cos no matter what i says, no one will believe. but at least i myself know that i had done my part... ... ...

i am sincerely sorry once again.

YOU: what's mine compared to what you've done? if you had the cheek to bad mouth me till this extent, why not go find your balls and stand up to confess what had you done??? i know you wouldn't dare to. and if you are reading this now, i bet you are thinking ways to cover your ass right now. but don't worry. my lips are sealed. though i am an asshole myself, i'll still leave some dignity for myself. unlike you, i wouldn't go to the extent to pour out all your stuffs. and if i am an asshole, you'll be the ultimate asshole. you're sick!!! what goes around, comes around... ... ...!!!

'believe or not, suits you folks.
-take care.

17th March 2006, Friday.

2006-03-17T00:16:00.000+08:00

met up with wentao. went to walk aorund before heading to his place and collect my bag. accompany him to the basketball court. it has been a while since i last step into a basketball court. the feeling was so nice. the breeze, the laughter and the passion. everything was so nice. i really missed those times. playing so freely. yeah. was watching others playing today. due to my medication, i am unable to exercise for the time being. memories flashing through my mind, heart and soul. fuck it. i began to regret. seriously. fuck it. if i have the choice again, i wouldn't let my heart take over my mind. i swear i wouldn't. it's too late now. it's too late for me to change anything. oh well, i'm fine folks. just that memories kept flowing through and i have to let them out. just kinda hates myself. hmm... i guess i am not that narcissistic as i thought. haha. at least i knows how to hate myself now. isn't it? haha. yeah. i am getting tired day by day. my mc only valids till this week. but why am i still feeling so weak? i need to recover fast.... praying hard...

wentao: i know you are better. stop boasting. haha.

jeanie: where are you gal? where have you been? my handphone is kinda quiet.

charmaine: miss ya nagging. will you call me soon and nag please?

weiling: what's on for our friday night dude???

'greyish sky
-bball

15th March 2006, Wednesday.

2006-03-15T20:42:00.000+08:00

finally, i am 21. yup. and all the celebrations are over. thanks to those who actually remember my birthday and those who take the effort to celebrate for me. thanks folks. yesterday was kinda fun. met up with weiling in school. and oh ya... it's the first time i saw 'her' ever since the break up. she didn't see me though. i was kinda oppsite the other side of the road waiting to get over and i saw her. thank god the traffic light turned red and i didn't get to cross over. if not i seriously dunno what my reaction would be upon seeing her though i am still missing her. i feel contented to at least get to see her from far. yup. and it was on my birthday! God indeed gave me a wonderful present. yeah. alright. back to topic. met up with weiling before we head down to bugis 'seoul garden'. he insisted on treating me as a birthday gift. so i was like... erm ok... haha. yeah. thanks dude! after lunch, we were slacking around and feeling so bored. went to catch the movie "date movie". it's kinda funny. haha. not a bad show. yup. went back to school after the show as weiling needs to collect some stuffs. it was like only 4 plus by then. meeting elsie and jessie at 6.30pm. so we still have an hour plus to spare. we sat at a coffee shop and chat about lots of stuff. cleared some stuffs in the past. yeah. and we realise that we're living in such a fake and cruel world. and both of us eventually thinks that well, what goes around, comes around. yeah. it will. it's just the matter of time. yup. after our guy's talk, went over to instinct and waited for elsie and jessie. when both of them came, our fun began. haha. eating, playing pool, singing and talking craps. haha. i was expecting jeanie to come. but she was kinda held up by some stuffs. so we head down to ksp without waiting for her. weiling was kinda a little drunk by then.haha. so he headed home. jeanie finally arrived and i was like so happy.haha. was chatting with her for the whole night before we decided to head home.yeah. had a really fun night. thanks guys and gals.

elsie, jessie: thanks for the night.

weiling: we'll have fun again soon.

jeanie: you were great gal. thanks for everything. your presence really make me feels so happy. thanks for giving me such a nice birthday night. thanks.

-finally 21.
'what goes around, comes around...

Birthday Celebrations at East Coast.

2006-03-13T20:53:00.000+08:00

13th March 2006, Monday. Terry and Mine...

2006-03-13T20:28:00.000+08:00

hi folks. i am back from my celebrations. haha. it was a freaking fun and loving night. woo... we reached east coast at around 7.30pm. it was so damm difficult to find a parking lot there. yeah. waiting for terry and company to arrive. he was kinda held up by his sailing training. oh well, he's a national sailor. haha. yeah. the dinner kinda started at around 8 plus. everything there was nice except the chilli crab. probably the black pepper one taste better. which is why everyone finds that the chilli crab sucks. ha. yeah. the best dish was the grill fish. oh man... it was like so damm fresh that i kinda finished up one of the whole fish by myself. haha. as i said... i was greedy. yummy. done with the dinner, cutting cake session. we bought only one cake despite having two birthday boys. haha. took quite a lot of photos. you folks can take a look at my so called "forever pretty" aunties and my mom. haha. yeah.

after the celebration, i went down to "club instinct" to accompany elsie. waited till around 1am before she can finally leave. head down to "starpub" after that. was happily playing those stupid dice games and drinking chivas. woo... i miss the taste of chivas. one of elsie's friend came down shortly and so we decided to head down to club momo. it was my first time there. nothing special though. it's jus like any other typical club in singapore. kinda boring there. yeah. elsie's friend ordered a bottle of martel and i was like "oh no!". haha. drank quite a lot before we finally decided to go off. feeling kinda hungry after that and so elsie and i went down to bishan and had breakfast. ya, breakfast. it was like already 7am by then. haha. reach home at about 8am and head to bed after bath. was so freaking tired.

and due to those seafood and liquor, i am feeling sick again ever since yesterday. shitty me. i should have control myself. haiz. hopefully i'll be fine. i'll be back in school tomorrow. yup.yup. gonna meet jeannie after school. she kinda gonna celebrate my birthday for me? hmm... yeah. alright folks. i shall download some pictures of that day ya? happy viewing.haha. tk care!!!

elsie: you are a good drinker and yes i know.

jeannie: you should feel honoured gal. i leave the exact day for you. haha.

'i am turning 21 in few hours time.
-sick once again...

11th March 2006, Saturday. Long Beach...

2006-03-11T15:39:00.000+08:00

finally decided on the place to hold my 21st celebration. sis suggested "long beach" at east coast. sounds good to me. yup. finally it's done. yup. everyone will be there. a big family gathering once again. i always like it when the everyone is there. the feeling is just so nice. can't wait for tonight to come. craving for the crabs, prawns and stuffs. haha. greedy me. i know. i am just gonna make sure i stay happy tonight. i wanna be a happy birthday boy. yes i want and i definitely will. i promise myself i am gonna stay happy and not gonna let people who cares for me and myself down anymore. whatever that's over, it's over. i shall and i must let it be. yup yup. i am techically gonna be a year older, therefore, it's kinda like a new beginning for me. forget about the past and carry on with my life. woohoo... brand new life. future begins to brighten up again.

alright. tk care and stay happy folks. see you guys on monday...!!!

'me, myself and i.
-3 more days....

11th March 2006, Saturady. Tired...

2006-03-11T00:39:00.000+08:00

walk pass nafa just now. seems kinda remote to me. have not been going school for almost 3 weeks. memories flashing in my mind while i was walking pass... too much for me to carry on thinking. really misses those days when school just started. everything was so beautiful then. it'll never be the same again...

having my 21st birthday celebration tomorrow evening. have not decide on where to hold the celebration. technically, everywhere seems to be nice. i just couldn't make up my mind. shall call my aunties tomorrow afternoon. guess we'll be catching "final destination 3" after that. hopefully it'll be nice...

my birthday is just around the corner but why am i feeling not a single bit happy? i seriously dunno what is wrong with me. feeling so moody recently. i thought i've already managed to let go and carry on. but why am i feeling this way? argh... really hate myself. i can't afford to let it affect me anymore. i am going back to school on monday. i need to pick myself up. i need to excel in my studies. there is no way i am gonna let it affects my grades. NO WAY! i know i can do it. yes i can. no doubt.

head hurts. body aching. physically tired. emotionally break down.

hopefully i'll be fine after a good sleep tonight. just taken my medication. had been taking the pills for almost a week but it doesn't seem to have any effect. i think i need something stronger. yeah.

i am beginning to miss school life. it's only 3 weeks but i am dying to get back. i shall forget about the remaining one week mc. i'll be back on monday. i have decided. yup yup.

alright. it's time to sleep. getting late. shall do some light exercise tomorrow morning. yup. take care folks!

sheeban, shenglong, zhiwei: i miss you guys...

jeannie: nice knowing you gal!

'我真的受伤了...
-love leads to laughter, love leads to pain. gd night!

08th March 2006, Wednesday. No School...

2006-03-08T16:14:00.000+08:00

here comes wednesday and it's mambo night again. but sad to say... i can't go. i shall not scare the hell out of them in zouk with my poxes. haha. i finally made up my mind last night to go back to school for lesson today despite my poxes. but... who knows...??? jit(my lecturer) cancelled our 2D animation class today. lol. fated i guess. God probably doesn't want me to go back to school and spread the "chicken" germs around i guess. but don't worry folks, i guess i'm already fine. just waiting for the poxes to heal. i guess. yup yup. i am feeling so bored at home. i'll rather get back to school asap. i'll see how it goes tomorrow morning before deciding to go for tomorrow's lesson. though i feel alright, but physically i am still damm freaking weak. i think it's the cause of the medication that i am taking. it makes me feel so tired and weak physically. i wonder why... hmm... hopefully i'll be fine soon... i seriously hope so. can't get to eat so many stuffs for days. craving for so many things now. sadded. i'll probably whack everything once i am fully recovered... yeah...

oh ya. before i forget. last night champion's league match was so damm interesting. the fact that it's nice is because.... Chelsea went out of the competition. haha. cheers to Barcelona! and to all Chelsea fans...

Chelsea 1 Barcelona 2 (1st Leg)
Barcelona 1 Chelsea 1 (2nd Leg)
Barcelona 3 Chelsea 2 (aggregate)

how's that chelsea's fans? haha. just too bad... try harder. but... chelsea will still fail...
woo la la... ... ...

dad came home kinda early today. and yes, it's only 4 plus in the afternoon and he's back. in fact, he was home at 3pm. guess he knows that i am bored. but too bad dad, there's nothing much you can do to ease my boring day cos i simply can't leave the house. but your presence at home somehow makes me feel a little better. cos... at least i am not home alone... haha. yeah. thanks dad! well, it's mom's turn to paster me regarding my 21st birthday. well... dad, mom, maybe both of you thinks that i might feel down if you guys didn't make a grand one for my 21st because sis had a great one at paramount hotel 4 years back. but to be honest, i don't really mind. and i swear i don't. as i mentioned earlier, it's fine with me. as long as everyone is happy, who cares about the celebrations? well, at least i don't. yeah. so maybe we'll just get everyone to have a simply nice dinner and get the cake cut? how about that? it doesn't sound interesting but trust me. it's gonna be a loving night. life is never boring when ben, terry and i are around. we are able to lift the night high. yeah yeah. haha. we'll never grow up i guess. we just behave like kids when the 3 of us are together. when will we ever grow up? well, i am wondering... so we shall stick to this plan huh? yup yup. i'll get my two pretty aunties to find the place. they are good in this. haha. anyway, terry, if you are reading this... let me know if you have any better suggestions ya? cos it's ya birthday too! and oh ya... what do you want for ya 16th birthday? let me know...

oh... here i am looking at the calender. i just come to realise that it's only 6 days to my 21st. hmm... that's kinda like freaking close. i thought it was still like in 2 weeks time and stuff. 6 days before i officially become an adult! oh my god! i am old. so damm old.

i just had this urge to drink suddenly. miss the smell of vodka, chivas and beer. it's only like a week but i am missing the feeling of drinking with ken, ariel and thomas. hmm... miss you guys so much. probably because you three have always been by my side. i'll be back by next week. and we'll have our crazy night again. yeah. can't wait.... argh..!!!

well well... i am so surprise that i blog so much today. i guess i am just to bored. blog to kill time. haha. yeah yeah. alright. that's about it for today. shall update you guys again on my recovery and celebrations. take care folks!

ben: invite wanjing to come along on my 21st birthday ok? must. must. must.

terry: get ya gal to tag along too... no excuses huh....

ken, ariel, thomas: guy, remember to prepare my present! haha... and save some chivas for me!!! lol...

'6 more days before brat turns 21... counting...
-bored to death.

7th March 2006, Tuesday. What i want...???

2006-03-07T23:50:00.001+08:00

feeling so weak. so tired everyday. had been sleeping my days away recently. the poxes are grtting on my nerves. i swear it looks damm horrible and it's freaking itchy. but what's the point of complaining??? it doesn't make me feel any better. i just pray that it'll recover fast. i am bored to death at home. watching vcds everyday to kill those miserable time. kinda no life. yeah. dad was asking me when do i plan to celebrate my 21st birthday and where do i wanna hold the party. i seriously got no idea dad. it all depends on how fast will i recover. but it doesn't make any difference to me whether to celebrate or not. i just wanna have a simple dinner with the whole loving family. guess the celebrations gotta be this week before terry leaves on the 14th. it's gonna be terry's and my party. not just me. we had been celebrating our birthdays together for so many years. so i hope it'll stay the same way as it suppose to be. everyone have been asking me what i want for my coming 21st. frankly, i myself ain't sure what i really needs. but to be honest... the most important thing to me now is family, kinship and friendship. i always take things for granted in the past. i didn't know how to cherish things i have. but after such a bad fall, i finally realise that "family" is the only six letters in the world that wouldn't leave me. it has always been there for me. in fact, for the 21 years of my life, it had never leave me. and i know it never will be it now or in the future. thank you everyone in this big and loving family of ours. as for friends, i wouldn't want anything from you guys too. you guys already gave me a very precious gift. all the love, care and concerns you guys gave and showed really touched my heart. thanks folks. you guys are simply great! thanks! so you guys must be relieve now huh? haha. can save a big sum. lol. well, so now i have make myself clear. i already got what i want for my 21st birthday. in fact it has always been with me. just that i'll treasure and cherish them now. and yes i will...

Family, Kinship, Friendship.

Cheers!

'1 year older...
-itchy still...

5th March 2006, Sunday. Itchy!!!

2006-03-05T20:13:00.000+08:00

argh... the itch from the chicken pox is really killing me. finally the fever starts running. people had been telling me that it's weird for me to have chicken pox without having fever. oh well folks, here comes the fever! the little little of redish poxes(whatever you guys call it) have been poping out like none of its business thingy. and now my face is full of pop ups. same goes for my body. but who cares about body? well, at least i don't. jus hate to look into the mirror this few days. and i had never been so weak in my entire life. what the hell... the freaking best thing is that school starts tomorrow. what am i suppose to do? oh my god!!! i'm jus afraid that i wouldn't be able to catch up. argh... guess i'll just have to take a step at a time and see how it goes. it's getting itchy again. guess i'll just stop here for now. will update you guys again.

thanks for caring guys! you guys make me feel so much better. thanks!

'itchy!!!
-chicken pox runs my life for now...

4th March 2006, Saturday. Chicken Pox.

2006-03-04T13:56:00.000+08:00

......trying to keep myself from thinking about you. you are everywhere to me.

argh... it's my turn to have chicken pox. what the hell... it's damm itchy and my face looks damm horrible now. hate it. doctor just gave me 2 weeks MC. how am i suppose to cope with the tons of school work? argh... headache.... and my 21st birthday is kinda only 10 days away. how to celebrate? why? why? why? why must all the bad stuffs happen? haiz. hopefully this is the last. ya. the bloody last one. yeah yeah. feeling kinda sleepy now after taking the pill the doctor prescribed. yeah. i am sleepy. shall update you guys again. take care folks.

either way, i decided to keep myself occupied.

'chicken pox SUCKS!
-itchy me!!!

2nd March 2006, Thursday. there goes the 1 week holiday...

2006-03-02T13:58:00.000+08:00

it's already thursday. oh my...!!! time really flies. hmm... thinking back, i didn't do much during this shitty 1 week holiday. it just kinda zoom past me. well, that's time i guess. what's install for me today? hmm... nothing much today. finally able to get some rest. tiring... oh ya, before i forget... there's a freaking mass lecture class tomorrow at 11am. what the hell??? mass lecture during school holis? the lecturers are crazy. oh well, should i or should i not go? it depends.... yup yup. that's about it. nothing much to blog about recently. kinda tired of blogging already. was thinking of shutting this blog down. hmm... still thinking.. yeah..

i had a funny night yesterday. had a couple of drinks and sat alone in a corner. in deep thoughts about lots of stuff. then.... i made a weird prayer to God. will He answer my prayer? oh well, i prayed that He will... yeah yeah.

'tired, tired, tired.
-back to God.

28th February 2006, Tuesday. Finally i Realise...

2006-02-28T21:59:00.000+08:00

i finally realise what's the meaning of true love. and i was so damm right. love is not something that i can find. when it comes, it comes. it's the feeling that really counts. even if i'm in love, i came to realise that the person i loved so deeply need not necessary to be with me in order for me to feel happy or blessed. you people that are reading this might think that i am bull shitting. give me some credit! trust me. i can think properly finally. as long as she feels that she's doing the right thing. and most importantly, as long as she is happy, i should and i must feel happy for her. the feeling is always sweet for me when i know that she's happy. be it in the past or now. it still feels the same.

i am no longer heart broken anymore. as long as YOU found what YOU really wants, i'll give you my blessing. i'll sincerely wish you all the best. as long as YOU are happy. i'll pray for you everyday. pray that you'll be blessed and stay happy.

'be true to yourself
-i'm awake

27th February 2006. Early Monday Morning

2006-02-27T01:29:00.000+08:00

deep thoughts.

i watch myself break down piece by piece once more.

i watched the movie "king kong" once more. it kinda brings back beautiful memories. memories that i will never ever forget, memories that will be with me everywhere i go, memories that will always stay in my heart.

beaten, bruised, confused.

i care so much about you. i jus wants you to stay happy. i prayed for you everyday. i care that much.

my physical pain is numbed by the emotional pain.

i'm sorry mum and dad. i really am. i really am trying too. i am trying. still trying to get use to life without her. i just need some time dad, mom...

thanks my friends for trying to make me smile. thanks jackjack, weiling, lynn, nicole, yanglong, charmaine, wentao, may, ken, thomas and ariel. i do appreciate.

not to forget those who are ALWAYS by my side... thanks dad, mom, sis, aunties and uncles, chu, ben and terry. you guys have been great. i love you guys to bits.

it all boils down to me.

misunderstood...

'back from starpub
'brand new life
-mending my heart.

long long time...

2005-11-07T02:10:00.000+08:00

it's sunday night now. hmm... have not been blogging for quite some time. shall start with last saturday. last sat, hmm... where were i? let me see... ya. i was at costal sand. MMT2J chalet. ha. met ban and pingting at woodlands to get all the BBQ stuffs. we're kinda fit though. ha. stayed there through the whole night waiting for shenlong and zhiwei to come. finally get to see them after so long. ha. we had a long chat at the pasir ris kopitiam. and all of us went home after that leaving ban and pt at the chalet. ha. reach home at 6 am in the morning and finally managed to get some sleep. yawn yawn. ha. woke up kinda early and went for my cousin's baptism. was really tired den but what woke me up was that my dad bought me my dream phone. ha. sony ericsson w800i walkman phone. cool ya? haha. thanks dad! woo.... reach home by evening and start to rush for all the assessments which were due on wed. yeah. managed to finish everything by tue morning. i was so proud of my work. ha. met all the nafa guys on wed and head to school to submit our assessments. and there is something i need to say... DANIEL, I AM SORRY. SINCERELY SORRY. yup yup. after submission and collection, dan and i accompany qingrui to get some tops. ha. cool. terry was at my place that night and we went for supper. decided to meet up the next day with ben and therefore, the 3 of us met up on thursday for seoul garden. ryan was there too. ha. kinda funny though. but the freaking golden village staffs spoilt our day. long story. whatever. comes to friday.... i slept my whole friday away. was too tired to do anything. as for sat, i had been slacking at home for who knows what reason. suppose to club at O Bar but..... i forget abt the date with my frenz. ha. how forgetful can i be. hmmm.... as for today... nothing much really happen.... went for church and headed to the airport with them for lunch. after that, i went home straight and sleep. i seriously dunno wad's wrong with me recently. have been sleeing like nobody's business. ha. hmmm.... okok. i think i shall stop for now. it's kinda boring though. i know. i just doesn't have the mood to blog nowadays. i am merticulously tired. haha. alright. take care guys. see ya soon.... at least i blog for you guys sake ya? so dun complain.... i am lazy i know....

sunday... and then here comes monday... ... ...

2005-10-10T15:13:00.000+08:00

here's sunday night with me having nothing to do and which is why i am here to try to blog something about what had happen for the past few days...??? well, nothing much had really happen this few days. i have been slacking at home almost everyday. i know it may sounds a bit no life. i am really getting sick and tired of getting my ass out of my house. don't you think that sometimes slacking at home can be a luxury as well? hmm... maybe to me, it is or i should say it was. yeah. have been eating quite a lot this few days. dunno what's wrong with my system as well. it just seems to be able to take in so much food recently. maybe it's my mentality that's the problem. just so happen to met my seconday school fren near my place on sat night. and the first thing did was saying that i am way too skinny and looked like a "POW". Prisoners of War... wtf right? haha. well.. it somehow hurts me a little. but not really able to affect me much. somehow my tummy just expand and manage to take in so much food. haha. good job tummy! keep it up! haha. hmm... thinking of tomorrow... oh no oh no... it's monday again. it's seems like i have not been in school for quite some time though it's jus a few days. but frankly, i jus hates monday. monday blues perhaps. hmm. i think so. i am always so easily affected on monday. it beats me too. well well... monday sucks perhaps. to the freaking core man. yeah yeah. dunno what's install for me for tomorrow's lesson again. argh. have to stop thinking about it and spend my remaining sunday night happily. haha. contradicting i know. but who the hell cares man. oh by the way, i am seriously surprise that i manage to blog so much tonight. great achievement huh? i think so. alright alright. i am gonna crash soon. gonna go to bed. good night pals. yawn yawn... zzzzzz.........

...killing me softly with his song

2005-10-08T13:15:00.000+08:00

Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly
With his song...

ooooo....

I heard he sang a good song
I heard he had a style
So I came to see him and listen for awhile
And there he was this young boy
A stranger to my eyes...

Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly
With his song...

I felt all flushed with fever
Embarrassed by the crowd
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud
I prayed that he would finish
But he just kept right on...

Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly
With his song...

He sang as if he knew me
In all my dark despair
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn't there
And he just kept on singing,
Singing clear and strong...

Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly
With his song...

oooooo....la la la la la la.....ooooooooooo...la la laaaaa.la la la laaaaa

Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly
With his song...

He was strumming my pain
Yeah he was singing my life
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song...

4 freaking months!!!

2005-10-07T13:05:00.000+08:00

time really flies. before i realise, i am already in nafa for kinda like 4 months? yeah. 4 months. life in nafa is seriously stress. have to really bear with it and try to cope with all those freaking school works that those crazy lecturers have given. the work load given is so much more than what i expect when i first came to this school. i think the greatest mistake i had ever made is to choose nafa over polytechnics. my stupid mentality tells me that i am able to jolly well slack in nafa while i gotta stress like hell in polys. but i was so fucking wrong. the amount of stress occured is hell the same! and i thought nafa work load is so much heaiver than polys. well well. who to blame? me and my stupid mentality. it's too late now though. apparently, after 4 months of torturing in nafa, i am beginning to hate this school. trust me. after 4 freaking months! and there is nothing i can think of to love the school. the system sucks, teachers are biased, assessments and grading are unfair and hell lots of unlogical school rules! what kinda school is this. *sigh* hopefully it'll just get better. i seriously hope so. major modules are coming soon. life should get better when it comes. that's what i have been thinking to actually make myself feel better. i know it seems that i am being naive. but do i have other choices? i guess not... ... ...

i am recovering...

2005-10-04T12:55:00.000+08:00

hey hey. here i am again. decided to blog after having so many days of rest. i am finally on the verge of recovering. though it's still kinda painful. haha. i'm so excited abt it. finally i can go back to those days and gobble up anything that i want to. better pray hard that i can FULLY recover by this week. i have been craving for those yummy food for so long. yeah yeah. by the way, qingrui, jackjack, daniel and i were talking about those hotel type international buffet this afternoon. wow. my saliva are dripping. lol. just can't wait any longer. guys, we shall pamper ourselves with that one day soon alright? haha. i think the runner of the buffet line on that day will go berserk if we four "big eaters" freaks were to be there. who cares about them anyway? yeah. who cares? hopefully wendy, yongteck, weiling,joanne,cecel and lorraine is able to join us too. the more the merrier. u guys reading this might think that i m crazy. no one would understand this feeling. have been sick for 2 weeks and i couldn't eat for nuts. argh. so, it's time to rock and roll. haha. here i come foody! hmm... before i realise, the movie "GOAL" is gonna screen on thursday. yeah. 6th right? i think so. i tink it would be a nice show. having newcastle being chosen as the team for the movie. shouldn't be that bad. guys, interested? haha... daniel... ask jasmine along if we gonna watch it. hmm... yup yup. alright. that's all for todAY! gotta start dreaming about all the fine dining again. haha. ya ya. i know i m crazy over food. who doesn't? shall update you guys again soon ya? take care! cheers to my recovery!!! cheers!!!

i'm down again.

2005-09-28T12:20:00.000+08:00

couldn't believe that i am sick again. argh. it's kinda like thrice in less than 3 months? argh... wad the...??? down with sore throat and fever at first on saturday night. den the freaking irritating flu and cough join in the fun as well. wad is this...??? the pain on my throat is killing me. argh... seriously it's pain. real pain. the inflammation of my tonsil is seriously horrible. trust me. u will NOT like the feeling. it's hundred times worse than a sore throat or an ulcer. argh... i have been drinking plenty of water as wad the doctor told me to do. but it doesn't seems to help at all. it only cause my bladder to burst. afraid that i might weaken it. lol... okok. seriously got no mood to blog any futher. will refresh my blog once i recover ya? dudes out there, pls pray for me.... yaya... may GOD bless me. anyway, you guys take care too!

"ITE MacPherSon Class MMT 2J"

2005-09-10T13:35:00.000+08:00

2nd class gathering...

2005-09-08T12:43:00.000+08:00

hmm... last night went to wen yan's place for BBQ. another class gathering. though not many people came, it was still fun though. meet joanne 430pm before meeting daniel to take bus together to paya lebar. we suppose to meet jackjack and qingrui at 6pm. we waited till 645pm before they reach. haiz. expected. always late. so the three of us went to eat mac at sing post while waiting for the two of them. when everyone is here, wen yan came and brought us to her condo. not a bad condo. the BBQ started immediately. it was kinda bored at first. so sangyi, weiling, daniel and i went to the seven eleven to get some beers. and we just drank and play the stupidest tennis game we ever played. jackjack's slippers was torn and he had dificultity walking throughout the whole night. it was funny though. and i had some conversation with daniel which regards to my future. haha. sounds serious? yeah. it was serious. after we decided what to say, i finally have the guts to talk to qingrui. to my surprise, he was ok with it. i was kinda grateful. thanks dude. as for wat had happen, u guys should know in near future. after that, daniel, jackjack and i were singing so loudly that everyone thinks that we are drunk. we are not. around 10 plus till 11, a lot of them begin to leave le. wendy and patrick left den followed by others. at first, jackjack and qingrui was still with us. after a while qing rui and jackjack gotta leave le. so left only daniel, liping, jOaNnE and i. we were talking non stop till about 3am plus before we finally decided to call it a day. haha. it's not a bad BBQ after all. not bad not bad. school starting soon guys!!!

photos of our gathering at wendy's place.

2005-09-04T01:30:00.000+08:00

first gathering...-wendy's place.

2005-09-04T01:14:00.000+08:00

woke up damm early yesterday. having class gathering at wendy's place. met joanne at hougang mall before meeting qingrui, yuying, daniel and jackjack at compass point. jackjack as usual is late. forever. haiz. after that, went straight to wendy's place. the party started kinda slow. lol. after dinner, everyone seems to be getting a bit wild. and we were bascially playing cards and crapping non stop before jackjack came up with a idea of playing the murderer game. it wasn't that exciting without the forfeit. daniel lost the first time and he's so cute when he was using his sexy broad marker butt to swing his name out. haha. good job dan! did i mention abt butt kissing? oh. nothing can be compared with joanne's butt kissing scene ya? lol.she kinda lose the second round and her forfeit was actually to kiss dan's butt. lol. sportingly, she went oner and..... muack! lol. there goes her lips on dan sexy ass. how's the feel gal? haha. after some madness, we realise that it's getting real late, wendy and her husband drove 2 cars out and sent all of us home. feeling so bad. yeah. it was fun afterall for our first class gathering. the next one is coming!!! on tuesday at wen yan's place. let's rock and roll again guys!

Four down! Two to go!

2005-08-31T10:58:00.000+08:00

finally the assessment week is gonna be over soon. four assesments already being submitted. haha. so freaking happy abt it. left with two now. shouldn't be a problem to pass. yeah. haha. well, today is a slacking day for me. went to school late for figure drawimg's submission. i thought the time given was 9am, but it's 830. thank god the lecturer had not start the assesments marking. phew. went to eat breakfast with jackjack, qingrui, yongteck and wendy after submission. by 930, we have to get back to school and submit our principle of design's assessments. as usual, armando was late again. typical armando. we waited outside his office talking craps. finally after he came, he took our work and we were kinda relieve knowing that he accepted it and there isn't a need for us to re do. but... i can't possibly understand is he being so rude to joanne. she didnt do anything wrong. she's basically helping elson to submit his work. feel sorry for her though. cheer up joanne! after that, jackjack, qingrui, wendy and i went to play pool for the next 2 hours before going back to collect our figure drawing's assessment. we passed! phew! haha! we seriously dunno wad to do next and we stroll to bugis star bucks and chat there till 2 plus and went back to school again. went to the class and saw david tan inside. as usual, his favourite sentence.... "guys, if u choose not to take your work seriously, all i can tell u is TAKE CARE and all i can do is to supply you with tissue if u fail" haha. he's a funny yet strict teacher. after handing in our perspective drawings to him, we headed to plaza singapura in wendy's new bmw 630i sports car! wow! nice car wendy! haha. had lunch at ps and the four of us sit at the food court for 2 hours and chat. there is so much things to talk abt. lol. finally, we went home after collecting back our perspective work from sch again. haha. reach home not long. and found this song "never be replaced". it sounds so nice to me. the lyrics is so meaningful. simply love it. decided to put it on my blog for u guys to read. it's for someone special. u know who u are. hope u do like the lyrics of the song ya? it's nice...!!!

where's my $100...???!!!

2005-08-30T10:28:00.000+08:00

got no mood to write much today. lost my one week allowance! 100 bucks. argh... i'm freaking piss. heart damm pain. fuuuuuccccckkkkk...!!! don't even know where the hell i dropped it. fuuuuuucccckkkkk!!!

saturday saturday

2005-08-27T23:43:00.000+08:00

hmm... have not been blogging for few days. feeling kinda tired and sleepy recently. yeah... so saturday nite. i am at my auntie's place now. staying over tonight. hmm hmm. so decided to blog here. just came back from dinner with them in the new nissan sunny. haha. not a bad car though. went to had my favourite steamboat at katong. wow... nice nice... eat till so full that i hardly can walk. lol. but it's reli very nice. haha. after dinner, rush back to watch tottenham vs chelsea. haiz. as usual. freaking chelsea is forever so lucky to still win despite playing so badly. well, wad can i say. haiz. jus hates them. stupid referee and stupid chelsea. kk. enough of chelsea. hmm... holiday coming soon. so happy. haha. hopefully none of the assessments next week ve to re submit. haha. den i can happily go genting... yeah yeah...

asian civilisation museum

2005-08-25T08:24:00.000+08:00

"this is where we went today". "asian civilisation museum" it's boring.

meaningless day...

2005-08-24T14:20:00.000+08:00

meet jackjack, daniel and qingrui before school. and were playing dota at paradiz centre. it was freaking expensive. $5 for only 2hrs. argh. bugis one is still cheaper. $1 for an hour. guys, plz plz. i'm broke. no mre paradiz centre. lol. thanks. after playing, went to school straight. we were late for class but the teacher who is none other than david tan don't even give a fucking shit. guess he was blind afterall. qingrui and i were practically doing nothing in class and we were drawing the pacman game on our table. lol. it's cute and fun. we started the table drawing game and everyone seems to follow. daniel drew lots of shit stuffs on joanne's table and she had a hard time cleaning it. lol. poor joanne. but as usual, some of the guys in class will automatically go over and give her a helping hand. hmm... wonder wad those guys see in her. lol. the funniest thing that happened in class was when qingrui jokingly scold cecel "cb" and cecel doesn't understand. so
she turn to the back and ask lorraine and joanne wad's "cb" in a freaking loud tone. and almost half of the class heard it. lol. wahaha. it's her expression that's funny. qingrui and i were laughing our ass off. lol. feel sorry for cecel as she fell sick during the end of lesson. took 2 packets of tissue from me... haha. nah. who cares abt tissue??? soon after that, class dismissed!!! hooray!!! we did nothing in class today! argh. lame. qingrui and i went for our dessert while poor jackjack went home coz he's having a freaking big and pain ulcer. tk care jackjack!!! on my way home, saw charmaine at the dhoby ghaut bustop. so long didn't see her le. almost a month. but she still look the same. fierce as usual. yeah yeah. dun kill me charmaine... lol. kk. finally i'm feeling tired. going to slp now... bye bye guys...

Tiring Tuesday.

2005-08-24T02:00:00.000+08:00

tuesday morning! and i'm still at home now blogging despite lesson starting at 8.30am. lol. decided to skip this morning's figure drawing class. i am already done with the assesment so no point wasting my time in class doing nothing. so i chose to stay at home to complete my perspective assesment which is to be due this afternoon. lol. slack but hardworking huh? i know i know. lol. well well, jus done with perspective as well and that's why i'm blogging now. lol. jackjack! thanks for signing for me ya. lol. hmm... i'm feeling so lazy today. maybe it's bcos of the nice breezing weather. woo... so nice to slp. but i can't. gotta go for that david tan's perspective lesson. argh. okok. i'm seriously feeing slack today. don't wish to write any longer. sorry guys! next one shall be longer i promise ya? lol. tk care! byez byez... zzzzz...

Half Way Through. . .

2005-08-22T08:15:00.000+08:00

hmm. i slept around 3am last night and woke up at 10am this morning. Have been rushing my "basic drawing", "figure drawing" and perspective's assesments which are due on monday and tuesday respectively. I have managed to get these three assesments done. lol. i'm feeling so relieve but tired of course after completing these three pieces of assesments. Now i'm left with "rendering" which is about 70 percent done, "printmaking" which is also 70 pecent done and "principle of design" which is the most tedious one and i have not started. argh. just receivr this assesment on friday. jackjack, qingrui and i were so shocked when we find out that our previous "POD" work were not the last assesment. worst still, armando was late for class that friday and his explaination for the final assesment 'SUCKS'! we don't even understand a single shit about what we are supposed to do and what is required in the assesment. but... eventually, after lots of questioning and interrupting and asking, we finally understand what are we supposed to do. BUT... when we realised what is to be done by next friday, we think that it's way too tedious for us. in fact, "POD" used to be the most slacking class ever in this term. den suddenly the final assesment that was given to us was so much loaded then all the other modules. wtf right? haiz. but wat to do? still have to complete it. it's ok i guess. i've hell a lot of time now to complete the remaining assesments. hmm. there's a price to pay. i had already burnt my friday, saturday and sunday for these assesments!!! and the sad thing is i'm having dark rings all over my eyes. haha. lol. gonna get some rest now. byez guys! enjoy doing ya work! lol...!!!

Assesments, Sentosa, KTV!!!

2005-08-20T15:11:00.000+08:00

wow! finally build up my blog with the help of cai shao min. wahaha. thanks man. i think it's nice. wad u guys think? give some comments ya? lol... well, wake up so early today. yawn. have been very busy with all the assesments that is due next week. gotta rush, rush and rush. tired man. have been sleeping late and waking up early. sadded. but i guess should be alright. the week after next is HOLIDAY! haha. though it's only a week, but i'll make full use of it. thinking of going ktv with joshua. and planning a sentosa trip with mmt2j dudes and pretties. haha. and more to come. good planning i guess. wahaha. just hope that next week will pass as fast as it can. jus can't wait for another class gathering. i think i better plan a nice nice one. MMT2J dudes and pretties out there! give me some comments and let me know when u guys free or wad food u guys prefer kk? i'll try my best to compromise. but no promise ar. haha. and most important, wad's the budget. haha. and anyone of u or all of u plz drag LEE ZHI WEI there! shee ban and i have decided to kick him out of the "fantastic 4" if he don't come this time. confirm! haha. lol. kk. it's already 12.10am now. gotta go and continue my assesments. update you guys wad's going on again ya? feel free to add comments! i dun mind. tk care guys! *cheers*

First First Blog!

2005-08-20T13:28:00.000+08:00

hi guys. this is gonna be my first blog. wahaha. wa... school assesments are killing me man. there's a total of 8 assesments to be completed within 2 weeks. wth. argh. no more clubbing. no more slacking with those dudes. argh. freaking piss with the stupid school system. it jus doesn't seem right to me. something is definitely wrong with the school. hmm... okok. shall stop taking abt school's stuffs. i know it's killing u guys too. wahaha. seriously miss those dudes and pretties in ite. haiz. though we jus had our class gathering, i'm still missing u guys. especially the so called "fanstatic four". seriously miss all of them. gotta plan for another class gathering. at sentosa? not a bad idea huh? okok. i will. jus wait for a week more. okok. actually i'm jus trying out this crazy blogger thingy. got to go and rush my assesments again. no life man! haiz. but hey, know wad? my new classmates are pretty cool too. haha. especially the one and only...... not gonna mention names. haha. but u know who u are. lol... cheers to all the nafa and ite guys and gals! and i'll try to update my blog as frequent as possible ya? byez byez!